HOW TO DEAL WITH GUILT

FATHER JIM FOSDICK

ST. MARY OF THE SNOWS ANGLICAN CHURCH

FEBRUARY 10, 2008

In the name of God, Father Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.

Last Wednesday was Ash Wednesday which begins the season of Lent. Lent is a season of self examination and penitence for our sins. Various acts of fasting are designed to remind us daily that Jesus died for our sins. It occurred to me this week that if we really do examine our lives and find the sin that has to be there we should experience guilt. This morning I want to share with you what Scripture has to say about overcoming guilt.

The first thing we need to understand is that there are things for which we should feel guilty and there are things for which we should not feel guilty. There are things for which we should feel guilty and take personal responsibility. However, there is false guilt where we carry the guilt of what other people have done. False guilt cripples us and the truth is that we carry what is not ours to carry. False guilt is not ours, it belongs to another and we need to recognize that and assign it appropriately. Guilt can have either a positive or negative effect in and on our lives. Positively it can cause us to take responsibility, seek forgiveness and experience freedom. Negatively it can cripple our relationship with God and with other people. Negatively guilt which is never dealt with destroys intimacy with God, intimacy in relationships, especially within a marriage relationship. Guilt can also be something which we experience constantly or intermittently in our lives.

I would suggest to you this morning that if you are experiencing guilt constantly in your life then you really need to come and talk to me or seek counseling elsewhere and get it sorted out or you will end up emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually scarred. Guilt can lie dormant for years in our hearts and then all of a sudden come to the surface, sometimes with such force that it feels like we are drowning. Guilt can be triggered years later by a memory, a meeting, and we need to have in place the Biblical understanding of how to deal with it when it does appear.

Right at the beginning of this sermon I want to read a verse from John 3 to you, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” I hope you listened to those words carefully. God did not send Christ into this world to condemn it but to save it. He did not come to put a load of guilt on to our backs but to take guilt from our lives so that we might know freedom in Him.

Turn with me now to Psalm 51. Yes really. Pick up one of the new pew Bibles and turn to Psalm 51. While you’re looking let me give a quick word of explanation. Two weeks ago when I preached on Matthew 4:12 to 23 I spent a lot of time on the verses leading up to 4:12 namely 4:1-11. Well guess what? That’s our gospel for today. So today instead of preaching again on the temptation of Christ and how to fight the devil, I’m going to preach on a Psalm. On Ash Wednesday we read Psalm 51. Psalm 51 is my personal favorite. I think it’s an ideal scripture to deal with the issue of guilt.

 Let me start with the background to this Psalm. In 2 Samuel 12 Nathan confronts David with his sin of adultery with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah the Hittite (her husband). In 2 Samuel 11 we read the story of David’s adultery with Bathsheba, her becoming pregnant and of David’s failed attempts to cover his tracks by inviting Uriah from the battlefront to the palace in the hope that he will go home to Bathsheba and believe that the child is his. When this plan fails David sends Uriah back to the battlefront carrying his own death warrant. Joab the commander of David’s army obeys the instructions and Uriah is killed. David believes he has escaped but he has forgotten the word of God which says in Numbers 32.23: ‘Be sure your sin will be found out.’ That’s something to keep in mind by the way. Be sure your sin will be found out.

Sin deceived David and it was eventually discovered, but not before it had wreaked havoc in David’s life and later in the life of his family and his kingdom. David would pay a heavy price for his adultery and the murder of Uriah. The baby born to them would die. Amnon (his son) would rape Tamar his sister, David’s daughter. Absalom would kill Amnon in an act of revenge for what he had done to Tamar. Later Absalom would rebel against David and in a show of strength would sleep in view of all Israel with David’s wives and concubines. Eventually Absalom would be killed by one of David’s fighting men. All the while David was powerless – why? Because David had no moral standing with his children after his sin with Bathsheba. Remember that, sin destroys.

In 2 Samuel 12 at God’s direction, Nathan confronts David by telling him a story of a rich man who takes a poor man’s pet lamb to feed a visiting guest, despite having a huge flock of sheep of his own. As soon as David exclaims that such a man should be put to death, Nathan springs the trap and declares that David is the man in the story. You know one of the telling things about guilt is that it creates great anger in us towards others who are guilty of the same thing we are guilty of. That anger is focused on them but in reality it is the fear of exposure and the judgment we know we deserve.

Psalm 51 is David’s response to the exposure and disclosure of his guilt. So turn with me to Psalm 51 because here we learn some lessons about how we can overcome guilt in our lives.

Psalm 51 breaks down into three simple prayers:
Verses 1-6 Prayer of Confession and Contrition
Verses 7-12 Prayer for Restoration
Verses 13-17 Prayer of Thanksgiving

So let’s start with the Prayer of Confession and Contrition – verses 1-6. David begins the Psalm with a cry for God to have mercy upon him. He does so appealing to God’s faithfulness and compassion. David has sought for over a year to hide his guilt. He knows that in reality he cannot hide it from God but like many he believes it will remain undetected and there will be no consequences for his sinful actions. But let me read you a few verses from Psalms 38 and 39. Here in David’s own words is what happened during the time he remained silent. Psalm 38 verse 4, “For my iniquities have gone over my head; like a heavy burden, they are too heavy for me.” In Psalm 39 verse 2 he says,  “I was mute and silent; I held my peace to no avail, and my distress grew worse.” Haven’t we all experienced this when we’ve done something wrong and we know it?

David’s guilt was a heavy burden on his life. You know I suspect that like many who try to hide their sinfulness its exposure actually brought relief to David’s heart and soul. The burden which had weighed so heavily on his life, that had taken its toll mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually was about to be lifted. The anticipation of it being removed brought relief to a weary man. Having been exposed as an adulterer and a murderer David casts himself on the merciful compassion of God. Note how in these verses David not only faces up to the revelation of his sin and guilt but also how he takes personal responsibility for his sin and guilt. Note how he speaks of ‘my sin’ and ‘I have sinned.’ David does not try to evade his guilt but faces it and admits it openly. David does not try to make excuses for his sin, nor does he try to pass the blame on to someone or something else.

So there is the first lesson in overcoming guilt – you must admit your guilt. And you must own it. It’s your fault not someone else’s. You see it would have been easy for David to dismiss Nathan and what he had just said. David could have sought to get rid of the guilt by living an irreverent life – as so many do today. He could have spent his life laughing at the very idea of feeling guilty for sin. David could have tried to smother his guilt by his own pride – by stating that it was his ‘right’ as king to live as he chose. Many today try to smother their guilt by claiming ‘my right’ to live as I choose. I have a right to be happy and this sinful thing I’m doing makes me happy. The result of that is that you live an unaccountable life and it leads to disaster. David had tried to conceal his guilt and the result was that he lived in constant fear of his guilt being exposed. As we have heard from Psalms 38 and 39 David paints a painful and pain filled life when he tried to conceal his guilt. He experienced physical, emotional, mental and spiritual torment while he sought to live a life of hiding his guilt. Some of you may be in that position this morning. Some of you may be experiencing just such turmoil because you are trying with all your might to conceal your guilt this morning. Some of you may be  living as David did, with the fear of your guilt being exposed. Learn from David – you will never overcome guilt unless you first admit it.

The second thing which David did in these verses was that he sought God’s forgiveness. Listen to what he says – blot out, wash thoroughly and cleanse completely. There is a great scene in Shakespeare’s Macbeth where Lady Macbeth walks in her sleep and she speaks these words “Out, damned spot! Out I say! . . . Here’s the smell of blood still. All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand.” The Doctor says “This disease is beyond my practice.” Lady Macbeth could wash the blood from her hands but she could not wash the guilt from her heart. Brothers and sisters that is exactly where we all were before we came to Christ and had our guilt cleansed. This morning it is where some of you may still be because you are still carrying your guilt. We can wash the outside clean but we cannot wash the guilt from our souls. You and I can wash the blood from our hands but we cannot wash the stain of sin from our souls. Pilate washed his hands but he could not wash away his guilt. You and I know that to be true this morning. Knowing that to be true, why do we spend so much time and effort trying to cleanse guilt ourselves? All we do is fail and put more weight on the burden we are already carrying. David tried to hide the guilt of his adultery by murdering Uriah and marrying Bathsheba but try as he would there was no means for him to remove the stain of guilt from his soul and the burden of that guilt crushed him daily. He turns to God and he cries to God to blot it out. That is to remove it from the record – God alone could do this. And as God always does he removes David’s guilt.

David asks God to wash him thoroughly – the stains of guilt were deeply ingrained in David’s life and only God could remove them. David then asks God to cleanse him completely of the guilt that weighed heavy on his soul – David wanted to not only know the forgiveness of his guilt but also freedom from his guilt. You see many people forgive but they do not free those they have forgiven. When God forgives us our guilt he also frees us from our guilt. Sometimes we experience forgiveness but we do not experience or know freedom from the guilt. Isn’t that  true for some of us this morning? We know we are forgiven but we are not living in the freedom of that forgiveness. The weight of guilt is still hampering our walk with God. We are forgiven but we haven’t moved forward in the freedom which forgiveness brings and gives us. Why? One reason is simply because people have trouble believing the Word of God and what it says about forgiveness.

This is one reason why I have found individual confession to a priest to be so beneficial. Confessing the sin out loud is part of it, but having the priest say “The Lord has put away all your sins,” reinforces our understanding from scripture. The truth is, all of us have a sense that our sins are wrong and we struggle with the idea of forgiveness. For one thing the devil keeps reminding us of them as evidence that we belong to him. People don’t believe they are forgiven because they are depending on how they feel as the authentication of their forgiveness. They think that because they still feel guilty that they are in fact still guilty.

David had no contentment in his life because of the torment of his soul. So in verses 3-4 he opens his sinful heart before God. David knows that his sin is ultimately against God and he knows that God’s judgment on him is right. He has come to a proper understanding and realization of how sinful and guilty he actually is. Brothers and sisters, let me say as humbly as I can to you this morning – you are more sinful and guilty than you ever imagined. I constantly recognize sin in my own life and you need to also.

This morning as we sit here in the presence of Almighty God we are guilty before him but praise God he came not to condemn us but to save us. In verses 5-6 David speaks further of his sinfulness and admits that without God revealing his sins to him he would have no understanding of his spiritual state. The same is true for you and me this morning. Without the work of the Holy Spirit opening our eyes to our sinful nature we have no proper understanding of how truly sinful and guilty we are. People often say “How can they do that and sleep at night?” They do so very easily because their conscience is dead to their sin and guilt.

There was a program on TV recently where they brought together terrorists and the victims of terrorism. You know the one thing which struck me through all of the encounters was that all of the terrorists never admitted personal guilt. There was sorrow but there was no repentance. They sought to justify actions which were evil and sinful. They were suppressing the truth of their guilt by seeking to justify their actions. When David’s eyes are opened spiritually he knows his guilt and he cries to God for forgiveness.

So let’s move on to David’s Prayer for Restoration – verses 7-12. When David has confessed his sin and sought God’s forgiveness for his guilt he then calls upon God to restore him. I thought this was really interesting. David was not content just to be forgiven. He wanted more than the guilt to be removed from his soul – he wanted a right relationship with God restored. David knew what it was to have a right relationship with God and that relationship was broken because of his guilt. When the guilt was removed by the cleansing power and work of God, David then asked for the relationship with God to be restored. David asks God to cleanse him with hyssop – this was the action of the priest in the Old Testament to declare the penitent ceremonially clean and acceptable for participation in worship.

David asks God to declare him acceptable in His presence. He asks God to restore to him the joy of salvation which he once knew but had lost because of sin. Do you hear what you lose as a result of guilt? You lose the joy of your salvation. When guilt burdens your soul then it steals the joy that you once knew in your relationship with Jesus. However, the result of forgiveness by God is joy restored in the heart of a man or woman. Here is the beginning of David experiencing not only forgiveness but freedom from guilt. When God forgives he also restores. He not only blotted out David’s guilt, he washed him thoroughly and declared him acceptable in his presence. God cleansed David and in so doing restored a right relationship between them. For a year David had suffered the pain of a broken relationship with God. Now experiencing forgiveness, he longs for a restored relationship with God and to experience once again the joy which he once knew in God’s salvation. How often have you heard someone say “I wish we could get back to where we once were?” David asks God to restore the joy he once knew because of salvation – a joy which was lost because of sin and guilt. Remember that – guilt will rob you of your joy in the Lord.

Having been forgiven, David’s desire is to remain in the presence of God and not to be excluded from it again. He had experienced what it was like for God to hide his face from him because of his sin. That’s how he described it. I think it works differently. We turn away from God and in fact try not to think about him when we’re sinning and that’s why we can’t see God’s face. David had experienced what it was like to be burdened with guilt. Now he asks God for the Holy Spirit to abide in his life that this joy of a restored relationship with God might also remain in his life.

Now we get to David’s Prayer of Thanksgiving – verses 13-17. Finally, David declares that he will praise God and point other people in the right path of forgiveness and freedom. David’s concern is that others might know the forgiveness that he has experienced. His praise of God is an appropriate response to the experience of guilt forgiven. The deliverance which David has experienced clearly comes from God and is something only God could do. David could not cleanse himself nor free himself from guilt. Knowing his forgiveness he asks God that his heart would be committed to God – David knows from the day of his calling as king that God’s concern is with the heart of a man and not what appears on the outside. He reiterates that here, when he speaks of God not being satisfied or impressed with the external things of worship but with the heart of the worshipper. Guilt lives in the heart of a man.

That is why David speaks here of the reality of God examining the heart of a man. Let me say that clearly here this morning… God is more concerned with your heart than he is with any of the external activity of your faith. You see, your external actions can be a smokescreen to everyone around you but not to God. That’s why on one occasion Jesus described the religious leaders of his day as ‘whitewashed tombs.’ To everyone around them they seemed the very embodiment of righteousness but to Christ, who saw their hearts, they were putrid, decaying and dead on the inside. David was alive again on the inside and he wants to remain that way. No doubt during the year that David had sought to conceal his guilt he went through the motions of his faith. All the time God knew his heart was not right. Every time he participated in worship his guilt just grew and the burden became heavier and heavier. I want to be sure that isn’t the case with any of us here today. You know the only thing worse this morning than having sin you haven’t dealt with is not to recognize that there is any sin in your life at all. To be in such a position is to be spiritually dead. A dead conscience and a dead spirit are terrible ailments. So I challenge us all this morning, especially before we come to participate together in Holy Communion, God looks at the heart and he knows your guilt. Are you going to add to the burden of guilt by coming to his table not knowing his forgiveness?

So you lets assume you’ve heard what I’ve said and you want to overcome guilt. Then follow these simple steps that David showed us in our Psalm this morning:

One, Admit your guilt.
Two, Take responsibility for your guilt.
Three, Confess your guilt and seek God’s forgiveness. I would encourage you to sign up for individual confession this Lent. The sign up is in the Narthex on the table where the bulletins are.
Finally, Four repent and strive to amend your life so that you don’t engage in this sin any more. If you do these four things, be assured of God’s forgiveness and then move to experience a restored relationship with God…let the joy of your salvation flood back into your life.

I want to close by saying to each of us – Guilt is a positive thing when it moves us to confess our sins and seek God’s forgiveness. When we have done that we must believe and live according to what Scripture teaches – that we are forgiven and live in the freedom of that forgiveness. If you can’t believe that you have been forgiven, you are saying that Jesus’ death on the cross was not sufficient to pay for your sin. Too many Christians I have known live as if forgiveness does not bring freedom and joy. Let me finish by reading a verse from 1 John 1.9.  “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Now the question this morning is: Are we going to believe God and take him at his word or not?
Amen.