HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT TIMES

FATHER JIM FOSDICK

ST. MARY OF THE SNOWS ANGLICAN CHURCH

Nov 25, 2007

The account of Jesus last words on the cross was important enough for Matthew Luke and John all to report it. I have used Jesus statement to the thief…today you will be with me in paradise… several times in funeral homilies. Today I want to use the words from our gospel reading to help us understand how to deal with the difficult times in our lives.

How many of you have heard of Jack Hayford? He’s a wonderful preacher and teacher and we should probably do an adult ed sometime using one of his videotape series. Jack Hayford wrote a book entitled How to Live Through a Bad Day, in which he talks about how to not only survive when life presents us with difficulty, but how we can also thrive in the middle of times of adversity. He presents us with seven points based upon Jesus’ seven words spoken while on the cross that will help us to deal with the struggles we face in life. My sermon this morning is derived from Hayford’s insights into what are known as “the seven last words of Christ.”

What we know as Good Friday was not a good day for Jesus, but a bad one. It was a day of betrayal, beatings, violence, rejection, pain, and loneliness. It was a bad day. Each of us experience bad days and times of trouble at some point in life, especially those who are called to follow Christ. We are called to take up our cross, meaning that we too will suffer. On the cross Jesus left us an example to follow that will help us deal with bad days, because he realized that we too would suffer. So let’s examine Jesus’ seven statements about overcoming adversity.


Thought # 1: Forgive Everyone Who’s Trying to Ruin Your Life

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do."

The first point in overcoming adversity through Jesus’ last words is to forgive everyone who’s trying to ruin your life. Hayford tells us, “Bad days [or times of adversity] are the result of things that happen, and things that happen are the result of what people do”. In a book by Rabbi Cushner, in which he tried to explain why bad things happen to good people, he said that God always wills the best possible good to be achieved in every situation we encounter, but does not cause the best to happen. God makes a situation possible for good to result, but it is up to human choice as to the outcome. People, through free will, are given a choice in life to make their own decisions as to whether or not they will follow God or go against his will. People are going to commit sin and many times they will hurt others along the way and oftentimes we just happen to be in their path. Sometimes we’re the ones doing the hurting.

Jesus points us to a starting place in dealing with the hurt that people inflict on our lives, and that starting place is in realizing that people don’t know what they’re doing. That probably isn’t the way many of us feel about hurtful situations. We “tend to see things from the viewpoint of our experience, and when bad things happen, it appears that whoever did us wrong knew exactly what he was doing and didn’t really seem to care either . . . And Hayford says, it must have looked that way from the cross too”

We need to learn the art of forgiveness, because forgiving those who hurt us is the key to not being victimized by them. “A friend of Clara Barton, founder of the American Red Cross, once reminded her of an especially cruel thing that had been done to her years before. Miss Barton seemed not to recall it. ‘Don’t you remember it?’ her friend asked. ‘No,’ came the reply, ‘I distinctly remember forgetting it’.” Only when we can learn to forgive and forget, as the old saying goes, will we find peace of mind in the midst of life’s difficulties.

Hayford goes on to say, “True forgiveness springs from gratitude to God for His forgiving me”. This truth is found in Ephesians 4:32 which tells us, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” In Matthew 7:12 Jesus told us, “Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them.” We all want to be forgiven and to experience the emotional and spiritual release that results from having the burden for past wrongs lifted from us. If we desire to have others forgive us, then we must be willing to forgive them as well.

Jesus says in Matthew 6:14-15, “If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” It’s very important to forgive others when they harm us, because in doing so we maintain a right relationship with the Heavenly Father. When we can know that we are doing the Father’s will and truly feel that God is on our side, then we are able to make it through difficult times.

Thought # 2: Help Others Who Are Experiencing Your Same Struggle "Assuredly, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise." The second point in overcoming adversity through Jesus’ last words is to help others who are experiencing your same struggle. The Gospel here portrays that there were two thieves beside Jesus, one of the thieves mocked Jesus while the other believed he was the Son of God. Hayford tells us that we should “note . . . Jesus interaction with the repentant thief. First, the man was experiencing exactly the same thing Jesus was . . . Jesus could have been focused on His own problems, but He demonstrated sensitivity that remained available to the needs of other people around him, even while dealing with his own pain”.

It’s very easy to be blinded to the needs of others around us when all we can see is our own pain, but Jesus revealed to us that we need to look past our own difficulty. When we start caring for other people’s needs we realize that we are in a lot better shape than many others, and we also tend to ignore our own problems because we are concerned only with what we can do to help someone else. Helping others is therapy to our souls. On more than one occasion when I have been counseling someone suffering from depression I have worked with them to find someplace that they can work helping others. One of the most successful of these efforts was a woman that I encouraged to work in an alcohol and drug abuse treatment center in Chicago. Her depression was measurably lessoned by helping others worse off than she was.

Many times the Lord will lead us to others who are experiencing similar trials as we are for the specific purpose of comforting them. In 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 Paul reveals our task of comforting others when he says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also abounds through Christ. Now if we are afflicted, it is for your consolation and salvation, which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer. Or if we are comforted, it is for your consolation and salvation. And our hope for you is steadfast, because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings, so also you will partake of the consolation.” Let us learn to comfort others, and then we too will be comforted when our own problems fade into obscurity because of our concern for others.

Thought # 3: Be Sure You’ve Taken Care of Those Near You In John we read "Woman, behold your son! . . . Behold your mother!" The third point in overcoming adversity through Jesus’ last words is to be sure you’ve taken care of those near to you. In this verse we see that “Jesus turned His concern to His mother’s personal plight. When he said, ‘Woman, behold your son!’ He wasn’t saying, ‘Look at Me and weep, Mother.’ He was directing her attention to John. He was saying, ‘Woman [which was a term of respect, approximately equivalent to ma’am], this man will become the one who oversees you.’ And completing the transfer of responsibility for His mother, He said to John, ‘Son, behold your mother’”.

There can be any number of reasons why our bad days or times of difficulty affect our family members such as mothers, fathers, siblings, or our own children. In Matthew Jesus tells us, “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me, and he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me”. When we really follow Christ we “take up our cross” so to speak, meaning that we will experience difficult days. Jesus tells us right here that following him will affect our family members, and we have to be willing to go through the pain of seeing our families hurt in order to expand the kingdom and be worthy to enter the kingdom ourselves. The problem is that when our family members hurt, we hurt and we don’t feel like serving the Lord.

In following Jesus we might be required to leave our father and mother to go to a foreign country as a missionary. Our niece Clare just traveled to Lesotho a country surrounded by South Africa. We were with her parents at Thanksgiving and they talked to her just before we go there. She was very happy but they were both worried and sad to be separated from her on a holiday.  If one of our parents is unable to take care of him or herself we often feel guilty that we can’t do more for them and this guilt looms over us like a dark shadow, distracting us from seeing the bright day in God’s future that lies ahead. However, if we can resolve the issue of how our parents can be taken care of and resolve emotional conflicts, the burden is lifted and God can use us. We’ve resolved my parents care, but Susan’s parents care is still a source of pain for all of us. Whatever the family issue may be it draws us away from kingdom business until we settle it.


Thought  # 4: Aim Your Hard Questions at God, Not Man
Matthew includes these words of Jesus which were not recorded in Luke’s account "My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?"
The fourth point in overcoming adversity through Jesus’ last words is to aim your hard questions at God and not man, and the reason we need to do this is “because in life’s darkest hours, there are usually no human beings with adequate answers”. Many times when bad things happen to us our minds become so clouded that it is tempting to blame God. I have been with more than one person near death who blamed God for their suffering. I told one woman that Jesus loved her and really cared what happened to her. She got angry and said that if Jesus cared about her he could have done something about her plight long before this. She had had two legs in braces for 25 years following a car accident so her anger was understandable.

As I said earlier, it’s not God’s fault that bad things happen to us, but if we turn to people for the answers they are likely to put the blame on God and say that he is testing us. Some things are too hard for mere mortals to comprehend. If we listen to people while standing in the middle of a confusing situation, we will only become ten times more confused and lost than when we first entered our dark place.

One of my favorite books is Pilgrim’s Progress. In the book by John Bunyan the character named Christian was on a journey symbolic of the Christian walk. Throughout his journey many people offered him advice and tried to tell him the will of God, but had Christian taken their advice he would have wound up dead like many of his “counselors.” He survived by utilizing what he had learned from the Word of God. We need to turn to the Word of God when we do not understand why certain things are happening to us, and God will speak to us while we are in the valley and help us out. We should never be afraid to come to God with any question no matter how hard, ridiculous, or difficult we think it may sound. God is big enough to handle anything we ask of him. In Jeremiah 12:1, Jeremiah said to the Lord, “Righteous are You, O LORD, when I plead with You; yet let me talk with You about Your judgments. Why does the way of the wicked prosper? Why are those happy who deal so treacherously?” Jeremiah provides us with an example of how we can come to God with any question, for he came to the Lord in frustration, anger, and sarcasm about how the just were suffering while the wicked prospered.

Thought # 5: Be Human Enough to Acknowledge Your Need John quotes Jesus saying "I thirst!" The fifth point in overcoming adversity through Jesus’ last words is to be human enough to acknowledge your need. In his book, Hayford provides a valuable insight into this verse. He says, “The one reason Jesus asked for something to drink had to do with what He was about to say. The biblical setting made that unmistakably clear. As the Word incarnate was about to bring His final sermon – a message for all time, to first be proclaimed from the elevated pulpit of His cross – He needed to clear his voice. The announcement to follow was not to be muttered or choked out but trumpeted so that all mankind throughout all history would be able to hear it. But to prepare for that moment he needed help.”

I think there is a valuable lesson for us here as to why Jesus asked for help in clearing his voice. “A bad day can blur your perspective and muddy your speech [just like Jesus’ throat was cluttered]. It can fog the mind and bring uncertainty to your heart or tempt you to mutter words of dubious wisdom unless you are willing to let your need be known to others. On a bad day, humbling yourself to ask assistance from others can help you clarify the stance you’re taking in trusting God. I’m not saying you should woe is me to get someone to join your pity party, but just as the drink offered to Jesus, though bitter, helped clarify the confession of faith He was about to bring, you and I need the help we can get from others”

We need to learn to humble ourselves and ask for help. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” Proverbs 15:22 states, “Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established.” We are not supposed to ask for human advice, like what was just warned against, but we are to seek biblical and spiritual counsel from fellow believers who we know are presently walking closely to the Lord. When you’re going through difficulty call on a couple friends you know to be strong believers. Ask them to pray for you and ask them for suggestions of scriptures that might be helpful. You can even call on me and I would love to walk with you through a difficult time. Don’t expect me to tell you what to do, but count on me to be there for you.

Thought # 6: Be Assured, There Is a Purpose and an End
Again in John’s gospel Jesus says, "It is finished!" The sixth point in overcoming adversity through Jesus’ last words is to be assured that there is a purpose and an end. Jesus’ cry of “It is finished!” was not a cry of defeat. Jesus was in control of the situation for he willingly submitted himself to be tortured and crucified. He did so because there was a purpose, and that purpose was to redeem all of mankind through his shed blood, the blood that serves as the atoning sacrifice to cover all of our sins. When he cried out, “It is finished!” he wasn’t giving up hope and declaring that his life was over, but he was confidently proclaiming the completion and victory of the long race that he had run. “His call, ‘It is finished!’ is our call to hold firm in this assurance: His sovereign power will ultimately win the day.”

Do any of you listen to Joyce Meyer? Susan and I love her broadcasts. As Joyce Meyer says on many of her Life in the Word programs, when we are in the middle of difficult situations and Satan is trying to get us down, we can laugh at the devil and say, “Ha! I have read the end of the Book, and in the end I am victorious and you lose!” Because we will win in the end through Jesus Christ, we have a reason to rejoice and have joy in our hearts! Satan is already defeated, and therefore our troubles here on earth are already over with before they begin! There is an end in sight, and one day we will stand with Christ and shout with him, “It is finished!”

Thought # 7: Finally Surrender Your Adversity to God, and Let It Go. A few verses after the end of today’s gospel Jesus says, "Into Your hands I commit My spirit." The seventh and final point in overcoming adversity through Jesus’ last words is to finally surrender your adversity to God, and let it go. Hayford says, “On the lips of Jesus, ‘Into Your hands I commit My spirit’ is no more an act of wearied resignation than ‘It is finished!’ was a cry of defeat. Both are assertions, statements of definitive action. The sixth word was one of triumph, the seventh one of trust”. “From the human perspective His words indicate a colossal act of trust in the Father. He was surrendering His control of life into the Father’s hands . . .”. Jesus basically said, “I’m ready to release My hold on life, and I’m unafraid to do so because I am placing everything about Myself into Your hands”.

There is an old story about a man who was walking along a narrow path, not paying much attention to where he was going and slipped over the edge of a cliff. As he fell, he grabbed a branch growing from the side of the cliff. Realizing that he couldn’t hang on for long, he called out for help. He yelled, “Is there anybody up there?” When a voice answered, the man said, “Who’s that?” The voice replied, “It’s God, do you trust me?” The man said, “I trust you completely, Lord.” God replied, “Good. Let go of the branch.” After a long pause the man cried out, “Is there anybody else up there?”

When we are in the middle of a bad day, hanging on to our branch on the side of a cliff, God will not help us until we learn to let go. As long as we are clinging to the branch, we are either trusting in our own finite power, or we are calling out for help from someone or something other than God. God will not forcibly take control of our lives. We have to willingly give him the control before he can and will help us. Susan and I have been asking why her father is being put through so much suffering. He is in pain and it’s a struggle for every breath he draws. It’s clear to me though that he is learning that there are things that he can’t control and there are things we here all he can do is cry out for God’s help.

I don’t know what each of you is going through. I know some things that some of you have shared. What I can tell you is that God always wants to bring us to the point of depending on Him. When we do he is always faithful and will never let us down. As it says in Hebrews, “… be content with what you have for he has said , ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we can confidently say, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?’” Is the Lord your helper? Are you really trusting Him? Then do not fear. Amen.